Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Gratituesday: Summer

I set a number of goals at the start of the summer, and while I did do a few of them (visiting Atlantic City, running the Putnam County Classic, and rolling over my TIAA-CREF account), I barely scratched the surface of the things I thought were most important.  I wrote and edited a tiny bit, but didn't send out a single poem this summer.  I edited my CV a little, but didn't finish it, and never went back to career counseling to have a final edit on it.  I had a wonderful photographer take some portraits of me, but didn't create a professional website for myself.

And today, we second-years hosted the first-years in a meet-and-greet happy hour, and so the year has started.  Classes start next Tuesday, and I'm so, so excited for them, but I'm also feeling unprepared.  Today, walking over to the writers house, I realized that the friends I have who are more successful than me aren't necessarily better poets.  They just work much harder at it than I do.  So, this is my goal: work harder. 

I know it's going to be an uphill climb.  But I feel I have to give this my best shot, because this is the last year I'll be in school, possibly forever, and I need to give it my all.  I need to work at becoming the person I want to be.  I'm not sure where this leaves this blog, but I'm sure I'll continue to write in here when I can, so please don't delete me from your readers just yet.  I'm just feeling more comfortable with visual social media right now, so there's been a lot more Instagram, and a lot less long-form blogging.

And in the meantime, you can check in on the visual representation of who I want to be (no, seriously) at my latest online obsession, Pinterest.  When I started subscribing to catalogues and reading The Preppy Handbook and cutting out pictures to put in my diary, I realized it was time to get a Pinterest, and honestly, I quite like it.  It feels good to get all these things in one spot, as if it takes the pressure off me to actually do everything at once.  Since getting it, I've been better about cooking, about working out, and about dressing well.  I'm feeling slightly more conscious, after a summer of mostly wandering around lost.  I'm also thinking, however slowly, about reviving Call & Response.

It's an uphill climb, but I'm ready for more challenges, for shorter days and longer books.  Welcome, autumn.

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