Wednesday, July 5, 2017

Wedding Wednesday: The Invitation List

Can I tell you that the hardest part of the wedding for me has been, hands down, creating the guest list. Before we got engaged, R and I dreamily talked about a tiny wedding with just 25 of our very closest friends and immediate family, but even then, I knew that wouldn't happen. "We can't even throw a potluck without inviting 90 people," I said, and this was true. We've thrown a lot of potlucks and all of them have had more than 25 people.

My problem is that I love everyone. At one of our pre-Cana sessions, R told our priest, "Kristin has more friends on Facebook than the entire population of the town we live in now." This was not an exaggeration. He's correct: I have 1,110 friends on Facebook and the town we were living in at that point had 977, according to the 2010 census. And this isn't a case of me trying to get internet famous (the way it, admittedly, might be on Twitter or Instagram). I can recognize every single person on Facebook and tell you how I met them. I feel a genuine connection with every one of them. I feel a genuine love for them, whether it's because they've comforted me while I cried or because they taught me how to make guacamole or because we both took the same Chinese literature class together. I love them all.

I love every person who has ever come to one of our parties, who has kissed me once on each cheek at a gallery opening, who has slept on our couch when they were visiting from out of town because other plans fell through at the last minute. I love my thin connections, the friends I barely spoke to in high school but whose small businesses I want to succeed and whose children I love seeing photos of each day. The girl who rode the bus with me and cried once because she thought she was having a miscarriage, who now has two daughters. The boy I had a crush on for years and years through school, who seems now to be living my dream life. My coworkers and my friends who love books and poetry: an endless parade of brilliant and luminous people I always wanted to know better.

And of course, my thickest connections. Can't we all live together anymore? Can't we all be endlessly intertwined, cooking each other dinner and watching television together on the couch and hosting dance parties every weekend? Couldn't life be an unending romp through the country club of college?

Needless to say, we're not having all of the hundreds of people I love at the wedding, as much as I sometimes dream that could be done. We're having one hundred of them, and slicing down a list of our most beloved has been the most difficult part of planning so far. We just sent out our save the dates, and I couldn't be more excited to see everyone who received them. It's just a little bittersweet to think about the people who didn't.

No comments:

Post a Comment